Murder in America : The New Yorker

A very good essay that centers around the Petit family murders and thier implication in the bigger picture of our countries violent nature.

Rihanna: 'No Soul' in Chris Brown's Eyes - CBS News

Despite the fact that this case involved partner violence and all of its trappings I've stayed away from this story for some time because so much publicity was being given to the case and almost all of it the wrong kind-You know,the kind that would seem to delight in the ugliness of the rich and celebrity falling down on their faces, if you will.

But the other day I caught some of the Rhianna interview with Dianne sawyer and I was soon Struck with respect and admiration for this young woman, who despite a very public experience with severe interpersonal violence, managed to defy the worlds expectations, my own included, and extricate herself from her clearly dangerous relationship with Chris Brown and learn some important things about herself through this ordeal.

For a time just following the assault there was evidence that Rhianna had returned to the relationship- at one point being very vocal about her lack of desire or the need for that matter for the protective order against Chris Brown, which the presiding judge wisely ordered despite her complaints for a minimum of one year.
In fact It seemed almost a foregone conclusion at that point that Rhianna had fallen victim to one version or another of the classic " battered woman syndrome", a variation of the Stockholm syndrome ,whereupon victims of abuse are trapped in a cycle of violence and conciliatory gestures aka the honeymoon period following the episodes of abuse. Bear in mind that this is a very pared down and simplistic definition of these relationships, there are many dynamics at play and very often a victim of ongoing abuse has to be deprogrammed in order to truly break away long enough to pull back and view her own predicament realistically. I think that Rhianna, by the grace of god, was the recipient of some serious intervention and thankfully had the strength to listen, and ultimately listened to her own inner voice, which the longer she was away from the abusive relationship, the louder it became.

So today whilst mulling over the aforementioned interview and what I wanted to write about it on this very forum, the abovetitled caption on a webpage grabbed my attention; I was immedietly compelled to read more about this statement re Browns "soulless eyes."
I instinctively knew exactly what that meant. I too have seen those "soulless" eyes. In fact, I tried to describe this very phenomenon to the local area detective who was assigned to my criminal case years ago; I believe I likened my assailants eyes during and after the attack- to a shark -vacant- predatorial -decidedly not human.

As a survivor of violent crime there were a good many things that I related to with Rhianna but one of the most emotional for me was something that she said about thinking that the assault upon her seemed to " go on and on and on " and she just kept "wondering "when is it going to stop?" When I read those words, that exact emotional remembrence flooded back to me, it seemed the crimes against me had just happened, rather than the eight years which have passed since then.

to be Continued

An Obama Relative in China Relates His Own Journey from abuse

Rell's Veto Is A Cruel Blow To Abuse Victims -- Courant.com

Bad news all around here.

Petit Calls On AG To Investigate State Department Of Correction -- Courant.com

Blumenthal: Investigation under way for book on Cheshire murders- The Register Citizen News - Northwest Connecticut's Daily Newspaper

Hallelujah for the good guys for once.

Nancy has her smile back - Overcoming Battered Lives

This is a really good program for victims of abuse who have damage to their teeth as a result of partner violence-" http://www.aacd.com/index.php?module=cms&page=34
Its a group of dentists oral surgeons and endodontists who all work pro-bono on victims of abuse whose dental health has been greatly impaired by that abuse.

Considering that many battered women are struck in the face/head and neck regions,( studies suggest 78 percent or so) this is very common area to sustain often permanent damage.
The broken and missing teeth that can result from physical abuse only serves to carry that abuse forward into all areas of that victims life-starting with her already flagging self esteem.
For women to make the already daunting step from victim to survivor, once they are extricated from their abuser, requires rebuilding that terribly damaged self esteem - This is made especially difficult when glaring evidence of the former abuse is staring her in the face each time she looks in the mirror, or sees someone react to her smile, which may be unsightly due to the seleleque of assaults upon her..

The bottom line is that victims of abuse need all the help they can get in order to begin the process of rebuilding their lives. Please support this program in your area-visit the site, donate what you can and if times are too tough financially, see if you can donate your time or services to this or any other program that supports victims of partner violence.
You will help make a positive difference in someones future and there is nothing more rewarding.

Overcoming Battered Lives

A story about a woman who survived an assault by a man that she'd dated years prior. She became paralyzed by the attack and is now in need of van that accomodates an electric wheelchair.

Man Charged With Tracking Ex With Cellphone -- Courant.com

There always plenty of domestic violence cases but it seems that this month, which happens to be domestic violence awareness month-has seen more than its usual share.

Check out the Courant blog via the above link for many good articles, stories and referrals regarding partner/ dating violence. Above all, talk about it- this needn't be a dirty shameful secret; this is what has helped DV to prosper all of these years, keeping it in the dark exactly where abusers prefer to keep it.

Study: Most States Fail To Protect The Legal Rights Of Abused Children

Looks like Connecticut did very well insofar as protecting at risk children-have a read.

WTIC News/Talk 1080 - Cheshire Residents Debate Blocking Petit Book from Library

And the good fight continues...
Please sign the linked petition to boycott this "book" that was written in direct violation of a gag order. www.petitiononline.com/cfg415/ See previous posts beginning in September archives for the complete story surrounding the book. Help us take a stand.

Book's release causes uproar at library | WTNH.com Connecticut